


Runaway Inquisitor

by Lindnjean



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:53:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindnjean/pseuds/Lindnjean
Summary: Story of the Inquisitor, who tends to run away.
Relationships: Alistair/Cullen Rutherford, Blackwall/Female Inquisitor, Blackwall/Josephine Montilyet, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Female Inquisitor/Iron Bull, Female Inquisitor/Solas (Dragon Age), Female Inquisitor/Varric Tethras, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Male Hawke/Female Inquisitor (Dragon Age)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Runaway Inquisitor

First, you were the Herald of Andraste, now you’re Inquisitor and yet you would happily go back to being neither. You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh yet again. “Alright, Sunshine that’s the second time you’ve sighed what’s up?” You startle “Maker’s Breath warn a girl!” He laughs “Someone’s been spending too much time with Curly.” Your frown at the mention of Cullen, he’s what’s got you sighing. You and Cullen kinda have a thing, until he found out that before him you had a thing with Blackwall. Then of course he got all weird and now he’s saying that our relationship should end as it’s a distraction from our duty to the Inquisition. “Please Varric not now.” “Okay now I know something’s wrong, you only call me by my name when something isn’t right.” You sigh again. You glance around the hall then pull Varric out of the hall and into his chambers. “Okay talk Jean.” You sigh “I don’t know where to start.” “How about what’s got you upset?” You sigh. “And stop sighing.” “Sorry. I still don’t know how to tell you.” “Start at the beginning then.” “Well, you know how Blackwall and I had a thing?” “Yeah, until he told you he was a coward with a secret and left you heartbroken.” “Yeah, well you know how not even everyone in our inner circle knew?” “Yeah.” “Cullen didn’t know.” “Oh and now he does? That the problem?” “Well, part of it.” “Okay, so the other part?” “Cullen is trying to break up with me telling me that our relationship is a distraction from our duties to the inquisition.” “Trying to break up with you? With that lame excuse?” “Key word trying, so far I’m the one keeping us hanging by a thread.” “So let me guess you’re not sure if it hurts more hanging on than cutting it?” “Yeah. And it hurts you know; that Cullen would give up what we have so easily. And that’s not the worst part.” “Oh?” “He gets jealous whenever he sees me talking to Blackwall and won’t talk about. He doesn’t let me help him with his nightmares, that he has every night, even though when he holds me at night he doesn’t have them as bad, since he found out about Blackwall and me. Oh and he’s stopped being affectionate especially if I’m anywhere near Blackwall. I don’t know what’s going through his head. It’s like he thinks I should still be with Blackwall and doesn’t think himself enough or something.” You sink down to the ground onto the rug in front of Varric’s fireplace. Varric is watching you. He hates that sad look on your face and would do anything to see you smile. “Does he know that Blackwall is the one that broke your heart?” “No. All he knows is that Blackwall and I had a thing.” “How’d he find out?” “Bull made some comment that Cullen should ask Blackwall about things I like.” “How’d that come about?” “Cullen was trying to figure out things I like to get me a present for my birthday.” “Wait your birthday was months ago, how long have you kept you and Curly together for?” “Since that day.” “You’ve been worrying yourself to death about this for months and didn’t talk to me or Dorian about it?” You nod “I tried to talk to Dorian about it, but the only time we’ve had together lately is when we’re in the field and Blackwall is always with us, not to mention Bull, who can’t keep his mouth shut for 5 minutes.” “Oh. Why didn’t you come find me?” “Well I did come find you, but when I found you, Cullen was talking to you. He would have known what our talk was about if I pulled you away.” “But that was over a month ago, why didn’t you find me again?” “Because we fought a dragon then went to Fallow Mire and only got back a few days ago.” “Right. Sunshine do you need me to straighten Curly out?” You look up at him and ask “Straighten Curly? Then what would you call him?” Varric smiles “Oh I don’t know I’d think of something.” You do a small smile and that warms Varric’s heart. “But in all seriousness do you want me to at least talk to him about it?” You sigh and look into the fire. “I don’t know.” “That settles it, I’m talking to him.” “Thanks, Casanova.” He smiles at her nickname for him. “Anytime.” Varric walks with you out of his chambers, first making sure no one will see the Inquisitor exiting his chambers. “Know where Curly is?” “Where do you think?” “Right dumb question, his office.” You nod. “Sit tight I’ll be back.” “I promised Cole that I would come see him today.” “I’ll find you in a bit then.” You nod.  


You walk up to Cole and he says, “Hurting, hiding, longing, cracks in the smile.” You sigh. “Yes Cole, I know I’m hurting.” “Guilt, hate myself, maker she’s beautiful, unworthy, not for her, he’s better.” You blink and follow Cole’s line of sight to see Cullen sitting down in the tavern drinking. You blink. “Is that Cullen’s hurt?” Cole nods. You bring Cole’s forehead to you and kiss it. “Thank you, sweetie, that helps.” “I helped?” “Yes, you’ve helped.” He smiles. You notice Varric walk in the door and notice his eyes land on Cullen, then you notice when he spots you up here with Cole. You nod. And watch as Varric approaches Cullen.  


“Alright Curly we need to talk.” Cullen’s head snaps up as he hears Varric say that. “Not now Varric.” “Yes now. So come with me somewhere private or we can talk about this out in the open. Your choice.” Cullen knows now that this talk will be about his strained relationship with Jean at the moment. Cullen leaves a few coins on the table for his drink and follows Varric, who leads him to his chambers. He takes in how homey Varric’s chambers are, as he takes a seat in front of the fire. “You know what this is about Curly?” “Jean.” “Yeah and how you’re hurting her.” “She deserves better than me, she deserves someone like Blackwall.” “You mean she deserves to have her heart broken by the man again?” “What?” “Blackwall broke Jean’s heart saying he was a coward and that he had a secret that he couldn’t tell her. It took me a month to even get her to crack a smile with my best jokes. He really hurt her.” “But she takes him with her out in the field all the time, and she spends so much time at the stables?” “She takes him with her because he’s one of our best fighters and she spends so much time at the stables because that’s where our mounts are. You should see her fuss over our mounts out in the field. I swear she won’t even sit down until the mounts are taken care of.” “Truly?” “You know she loves all animals; she even has a hard time killing the bears that attack us out there.” Cullen nods. “You know you’re really hurting her. She’s been holding in the hurt even from me and Dorian for months now. She tried to talk to Dorian, but he and Bull are always together, and Bull can’t keep his mouth shut. Then she tried to come to me but apparently, I was talking to you when she tried. And to top it off we then had to go fight the dragon and the undead in Fallow Mire before she could try again.” Cullen flinches. He knows she got hurt on that trip. “What happened in Fallow Mire? She doesn’t like to talk about her getting hurt, says she doesn’t want to worry me.” “She took a spell for Dorian, an arrow for me, and a blow meant for Blackwall all in the same battle. She took the blow first, it ripped her back open, but with all her layers none of us noticed right away. Then she pushed Dorian out of the way of the fire spell and got her side burned. And to top it off she took an arrow aimed at my head in her burned shoulder.” “What?!” “She didn’t tell you how bad she was hurt did she?” “No, her report only said that she retained a slight injury during the battle.” “Of course she would call that slight, not the worst she’s had.” “What?” “When we fought that dragon she almost died.” “How?” “The dragon stepped on her. She was hit by its tail then it stepped on her with its back leg. Blackwall and Bull started to chop at that leg, I was sending bolts into it, and Solas and Dorian were pushing with their magic as hard as they could to get it to step off her. We finally got it to lift it’s leg when Blackwall ran to its head and stabbed it in its eye, that made it take to the sky.” “Maker’s breath, that wasn’t in the report she sent back, she didn’t even say she was injured in that fight.” “She was more than injured, she almost died. We’re lucky Chuckles is such a talented healer.” “How bad was it?” “We’re lucky she can walk. It almost crushed her spine.” He blinks shocked. “I know you fought the Dragon before you went to Fallow Mire…” “We went straight from dragon slaying to Fallow Mire when she healed. She insisted.” “Maker’s breath.”  


“We’re off-topic.” Varric states. Cullen nods. “I didn’t know Blackwall broke her heart.” “Yeah well thankfully I’ve put her pieces back together from that, but now you’re hurting her.” “I’m not what she needs. I can’t be what she needs. She needs someone to help fix what’s broken in her, and I’m so broken I can’t even fix me, let alone help her.” Varric sighs “Listen Curly Sunshine is one of my best friends and you’re hurting her. You need to talk to her about how you feel instead of shutting her out. If you tell her how you feel and you both decide to end it then fine, but don’t keep pushing her away because you’re scared to tell her how you feel. She knows you’re hurting and that was before she talked to Cole today. That kid loves her and doesn’t like when she’s in any pain at all and tries to fix it. He even tries to fix the phantom pains she gets.” Cullen frowns at her talking to Cole today. He knows Cole read his pain when he was in the tavern. “Just talk to her Curly.” “Okay.” “Good. Last I saw her she was talking with Cole, but I’d bet anything that she’s in the stables with Brutus.” Cullen looks confused when Varric says, Brutus. “Brutus is the giant horse.” “But I thought no one could get near him?” “They can’t, only she can, but even she can’t ride him. She tends to brush his coat when she’s upset.” Cullen nods and gets up to leave. “Varric?” “Yeah Curly?” “Thanks for talking to me and for watching out for her.” “She’s a strong independent girl Curly, but even she needs someone to look out for her.” Varric watches Cullen leave and hopes that his talk with him will help Jean smile again.  


You’re brushing Brutus when someone clears their throat. You turn and Cullen is standing far enough away that Brutus won’t attack him. You turn and kiss Brutus’ nose. “Bye Brutus.” Brutus snorts and you smile. You turn and walk over to Cullen. “I take it Casanova found you?” “He did.” “And?” “We should talk.” “My chambers.” Cullen nods and follows you to your chambers. You sit down and pat the couch next to you. He sits. “So…” “I’m sorry for pulling away without talking to you.” “That’s unexpected. What exactly did Varric tell you?” “How your relationship with Blackwall ended.” “I see.” “He also told me that I’m an idiot for being jealous of you spending so much time with Blackwall in the field and so much time at the stables.” “He called you an idiot?” “Not exactly, he explained about bringing Blackwall with you into the field and about why you spend so much time at the stables.” “Oh.” “He also told me I need to tell you how I feel, about why I’ve been pushing you away.” “Okay.” “I thought you deserved someone good like Blackwall, that I was no good for you. You need someone to help you fix what’s broken inside of you, and I’m so broken I can’t even fix what’s broken in me. I’m not what you need.” You sigh and place a hand on his face “I know you’re broken, and I know I’m broken, but I thought we were helping fix each other. You told me that when you hold me that your nightmares aren’t nearly as bad. I told you that you holding me makes me feel safer than sleeping alone.” He places his hand over yours “I can’t ask you to give up your sleep to help me with mine. I care about you it’s true…” “Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?” “But I need to fix myself before I can even remotely feel like I’m worthy of you.” You sigh. You lean in and place your lips on his. He closes his eyes and keeps them closed as you pull away from the kiss and whisper, “Goodbye Cullen.” You turn and leave your chambers.  


You end up back at the stables at Brutus’ side. Brutus keeps nudging you with his head towards his back. He has a blanket over his back right now. You look him in the eye, and you see it, he wants you to ride him. You pull yourself onto his back and wrap your hands into his mane. You nudge his sides and off we shoot out of the stall and through Skyhold to the exit gate. You hold on tighter as Brutus jumps the boxes in the way and out into the countryside we go. You don’t try to lead Brutus anywhere just let him full out run until he stops. You look up surprised that you can no longer see Skyhold at all. You slip off Brutus as he’s led you to a waterfall cave. You can get into the cave by walking on the edge of the water to behind the waterfall. It’s protected from the elements and looks like it’s empty. You lead Brutus there. Inside you notice that someone used to live here. It has a firepit, an old bedroll, a cache of food, clean water to drink, food for Brutus, and basically all one needs to stay here for a week. You smile this is just what you needed. You look at Brutus. “Did you bring me here on purpose Brutus?” You swear he just answered your question by nodding his head. Sometimes you think Brutus is more than just a giant horse, sometimes you think he’s your guardian animal spirit.  


Blackwall watches as Brutus takes off towards the exit gate with you on his back. That’s not good he didn’t see any supplies with her, and she was alone. Blackwall quickly takes off to find the others. He finds Varric at his usual spot in the great hall. “Varric.” Varric looks up at Blackwall’s voice. Blackwall tends to avoid him since he broke Jean’s heart, if he’s talking to him something is up. “What’s up Hero?” “Brutus just left through the exit gate with Jean on his back.” “What?” “She’s alone and she had no supplies. She was crying brushing him until they took off.” Varric takes one look at Blackwall’s serious face and takes off to talk to Cullen. “What did you say to her Curly?” “I told her how I felt. We ended things. She kissed me and said goodbye.” “Shit!” Varric runs away without another word. He runs to Dorian “Sparkler grab your shit we gotta go.” “What?” “Jean took off on Brutus by herself with no supplies.” “So she’s finally gotten to ride him good for her.” “No not good, her and Curly just broke up.” “Kaffas.” Dorian grabs his stuff and runs to the stables with Varric hot on his heels. They mount up and take off. Blackwall watches them go shocked at what he just heard. Her and Cullen split, Maker, he thought those two would always be together. He’s glad that Dorian and Varric are going after her, they’re her best friends, she needs them.  


Blackwall notices Bull is sulking around the stalls. “Something you need Bull?” “I could have sworn I saw Dorian over here.” “He was.” “Know where he went?” “He and Varric have gone after Jean.” “Gone after Jean?” “She took off on Brutus upset.” Bull notices Shadow and Streak are both missing. Those are the fastest horses in the entire stables, something must really be wrong if they took them. “What happened?” “From what I overheard Cullen and her split.” Bull turns and stomps off. Bull finds Cullen hitting a practice dummy with his sword. Bull picks Cullen up by the back of his neck and throws him into the sparring ring. Cullen looks up jarred and sees Iron Bull was the one who threw him and that he’s now in the practice ring. Uh oh. Bull picks up a wooden practice sword and swings at Cullen. Everyone knows Iron Bull loves Jean like a little sister, even though he flirts nonstop with her. Cullen knows Bull must have just found out about his and Jean’s breakup. But what he doesn’t understand is why Bull is trying to hurt him with a wooden sword, when he didn’t even do this to Blackwall when he broke Jean’s heart. “Woah easy Bull!” The Bull is seething mad, not because Cullen hurt Jean, okay maybe a little, but because Jean is now off alone with an unstable horse with no supplies because of him hurting her. “Seriously Bull pull back.” Bull pulls back knowing that if he hurt Cullen that Jean would be upset even more. Finally Bull just drops to his knees overwhelmed by worry for her. Cullen asks, “What was that about?” “She’s out there alone with no supplies on an unstable horse because of you.” “What?” “She took off on Brutus with no supplies. Varric and Dorian took Shadow and Streak after her.” “Those are the fastest horses in our stables. Maker’s breath, she really left?” Cullen drops to his knees. “She’s tough, she’ll be fine. Right?” “I don’t know. Yes, she’s tough, but having no supplies or weapons out there with only that unstable horse?” “She doesn’t have any weapons?” “Only that dagger she keeps in her hair.” “She took that dagger out this morning for her bath, it was still on her desk when she left her chambers.” They both look sullen at the thought that she’s out there alone with no protection or supplies.  


Dorian and Varric are trying to pick up her trail again, but it’s no use, they can’t even see, and not even Dorian’s light spell is helping anymore. “It’s no use Sparkler, we have to stop for the night.” Dorian sighs. They stop and set up the tent. They don’t even bother with a fire as Dorian just sets up a barrier and casts a warming spell in the tent. They sit down on their bedrolls and eat the rations they grabbed. Dorian sees the worried look on Varric’s face, he looks even more worried than he does. “She’ll be fine Varric.” “She’s out here alone, upset, with no weapons, no supplies, and only Brutus for company.” “We’ll find her.” “How? There’s no trail anymore, at least when there was snow, we could follow the prints.” “We’ll find her because we have to.” Varric sighs and gets up and goes to the mounts and gives them some water and food. He leans his head against Shadow’s leg. “Please be okay Jean.”  
Brutus is laying down next to your bedroll and you have your head against his side resting. You know your fire has gone down to embers, but it’s warm enough in the cave with both yours and Brutus’ body heats that you don’t need to tend to it. It’s been six days since Brutus brought you here and you’re glad he did. You kind of feel bad for just taking off as you did, but you’ve needed this. You’ve needed this time away by yourself, away from prying eyes who judge, away from the pity looks you’ll return to, and away from the hurt in your best friends’ eyes because you’re hurting.  


After three days of searching for Jean, Dorian and Varric had to come back empty-handed and heavy-hearted. They simply didn’t have enough supplies to stay out any longer and they had no trail to follow. Dorian hasn’t left Bull’s chambers and Varric hasn’t left his. Cullen is a mess and has thrown himself into his work, even more, Bull brutally spars with anyone who dares get into the ring with him, and Cole hasn’t even been seen near the wounded helping as he usually does. Leliana, Josephine, and Cassandra are trying to minimize the number of people who know the Inquisitor is missing and keeping Skyhold running in her absence. Today marks a week of the Inquisitor being missing and there is a commotion at the gate.  


You’re riding Brutus back into Skyhold with your hunting prizes of a great bear hide and a dragonling hide strapped on Brutus’ flank. Of course, you showing up after a week being gone causes a small commotion coming back. You chose to ignore it all in favor of bringing Brutus to his stall. You feel Cole in your space and turn around just in time for Cole to latch onto you in a hug. You hug him back and smooth his hair and kiss his head. “I’m alright Cole I promise.” Cole just hugs you a little longer and then lets you go to look at you. “water, soothing, healing, hope.” You just smile at him and nod. He nods then disappears. Blackwall approaches you next “Glad you’re back Inquisitor, you’ve had many people worried.” You nod at him, “Just needed some time alone.” He nods. You make it three steps out of the stable before you’re squished into a Bull hug. “Can’t breathe.” Bull lets go and puts his hands on your shoulders “Glad you’re back Boss.” “Me too, Bull, me too.” He nods and turns and walks away. You can feel eyes on you. You turn and Cullen is watching you from the training yard. You just nod to him. You manage to make it just into your chambers before the door flies open and Dorian is there. He squishes you in a hug “If you ever do that again I will sick Scout Harding on your trail.” You laugh. “I’m sorry if I worried you, Dorian, I just needed some time alone.” Dorian finally lets you out of his hug. “I understand the need, but next time at least let someone know and take some damn weapons and supplies so we aren’t worried. Better yet take me with you.” “I’m fine Dorian, I promise.” “Where were you?” “Huh?” “Varric and I looked for you for three days and couldn’t find you.” “You and Varric?” “We even took Shadow and Streak after you.” “Brutus brought me to a safe place where I could heal. I had a safe place to sleep and it already had supplies and weapons there. Did you see my trophies?” “Trophies?” You smile “I took down a great bear and a dragonling all by myself.” Dorian blinks “As impressive as that is, don’t do it again, and you better not tell Varric. He worried about you enough as it is.” “Right. Varric.” “You better go talk to him. He’s not left his chambers since we came back empty-handed. I believe he thinks the worst.” You nod. You kiss Dorian’s cheek “Thanks for looking for me.” “Of course.”  


You’re standing outside of Varric’s door unable to bring yourself to knock. Finally, you knock, and from inside you hear Varric yell “Go away!” That makes you smile softly “But I just got back from being away surely you don’t want me to go away again?” is how you answer. Suddenly the door is ripped open and Varric has run into you hugging you with such momentum that you’re now on the ground with him on top of you. Thankfully Varric’s chambers are the only ones in this hallway. You just lay on the ground holding Varric to you. You’re rubbing your hands up and down his back soothingly. Finally, Varric sits up and you do too. After we go into his chambers to sit in front of the fire you notice Varric looks horrible. He looks almost gaunt, his eyes are red like he’s been crying and have dark circles under them, and his hair is a mess. “You need a bath.” Varric actually laughs at that and says, “So do you. You smell like horse.” You smile for a second until your smile drops. You place your hand on Varric’s cheek “I’m sorry for worrying you as I did.” “I thought you were dead after you were gone for so long. You didn’t have any weapons or supplies.” “Oh Varric.” You pull him to you in another hug. You don’t know how long you sit with Varric’s arms around you clinging to you. You know it’s long enough that Varric has started to snore. You smile gently and pick him up and tuck him into bed. As soon as you stop contact Varric jolts awake looking frightened. “Shh, it’s okay, I’m okay, I’m here.” Varric slowly closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. You quickly slip off your boots and climb into his bed. Varric rolls and clings to you in his sleep. After a few hours, you have to go to the bathroom. You slowly pull out of Varric’s hold and run to the bathroom. On the way back you’ve grabbed water and some food. You set them down on the desk for later quickly because Varric is awake and looking terrified. You wrap your arms around him. “Shh, it’s alright. I’m okay. I’m here.” Varric slowly calms down enough to ask, “Am I dreaming?” “No, I’m really here Casanova.” You finally convince Varric that you’re real and to eat and drink something.  


After a few days, Varric is back to normal except he watches you a little more than he used to. Actually everyone checks on you a little more, you think it’s more them being reassured that you’re still here. You and Varric have gotten even closer if that’s even possible. You notice Cole is saying something to Varric who actually looks annoyed. Varric is never annoyed with Cole. I wonder what Cole is saying. Varric is annoyed with Cole because he’s making his confused feelings come to the surface. “sunshine, beautiful, wishing, hoping, wonder how she’ll react, thinking, needy, calming, soothing, happy, lo...” “Okay Cole that’s enough.” Cole nods and leaves. Varric has been having unusual feelings involving Jean since she disappeared. They’ve grown closer since she came back, and he doesn’t understand what he’s feeling towards her. It’s almost like he’s in love with her, but this feels nothing like how he’s in love with Bianca.  


You notice Varric is lost in thought after Cole leaves. You feel someone next to you, so you turn and are surprised to see Blackwall. “Can we speak?” You nod. You feel Varric’s eyes on you as you follow Blackwall out of the great hall. “How are you?” “If you’re referring to my little vacation away, I’m fine.” “That’s good.” “What’s this about Blackwall?” He looks unsure as how to say what’s on his mind. “I thought you wanted to talk?” “I do. I just, uh, I don’t know how to say what’s on my mind.” “Well, it’s okay if you just blurt it out, if that’s what it takes.” “Okay.” He nods then looks at you and says, “I want to have another chance at us.” You blink. “I definitely did not see this coming. What made you change your mind? You are the one who broke it off with me.” “A number of things.” “Such as?” “When you flew off on Brutus it made me worried for you, I wanted to be by your side to protect you.” “Okay. Anything else?” “The way the men watch you, the look on their faces as their eyes follow you around.” “What about it?” “The predatory gaze that they watch you with wanting you to be theirs, I don’t like it.” You sigh “Blackwall none of these things change the fact that when you left me you called yourself a coward because you have a secret you can’t tell me. If that hasn’t changed then everything is the same and it would be no use in us trying again.” Blackwall nods “I understand.” “So still afraid to tell me your secret then?” He just looks down in shame. You place a hand under his chin and make him look at you. “Just because you’re afraid to tell me your secret doesn’t make you a coward. Some secrets are better left secrets.” He nods. You smile then drop your hand and turn around to walk away. You notice Varric running the other way away from you. How much did he hear?  


As soon as Jean followed Blackwall out of the great hall Varric followed Jean. As soon as he hears Blackwall say he wants another chance with Jean his heart falls, especially when she asks him what made him change his mind and he started listing reasons. Varric just knows that Jean will go back to Blackwall. He starts to run away not wanting to hear anymore. He can feel Jean’s eyes on his back until he turns the corner to go up to the stairs leading to the great hall. You enter the great hall looking for Varric and you want to know how much he stayed to hear. When he’s not in front of his usual table in the great hall you enter the hallway leading to his chambers. You knock on his door “Varric you in there?” “What do you want?” “I’m coming in.” You open the door and enter his chambers. Varric is sitting in front of the fireplace staring at the fire. You close the door and sit down next to him.  


“How much of that did you actually hear?” “That Blackwall wants you back and he was listing reasons before I left. I figured you’d go back to him, so I came here.” “Well, you should have stayed for the whole thing then because I didn’t go back to him.” “What?” You smile at Varric “Nothing has changed between Blackwall and myself. He still holds his secret between us that keeps him from me. And to be honest I’m completely over Blackwall.” “Really?” You nod. “You helped me get over Blackwall long before I went anywhere near Cullen.” “Are you over Cullen?” “Yes.” “Really?” “Yes. Brutus bringing me to that healing place helped, but you want to know what really got me over Cullen?” “What?” “You did.” “Me?” “Yes, you.” You place your hand on his face “I saw what me leaving and you thinking me dead did to you. It made my heart hurt that I had hurt you, even if I hadn’t meant to. And then we got closer and I fully got over Cullen.” You notice Varric looking at you confused. You just slowly lean in, giving him enough time to know what’s coming and to pull away if he wants to. When your lips connect with his he kisses back, then you can’t keep your hands off each other. You end up naked and his posed at your entrance. “You sure about this Jean?” You just buck your hips, so his head enters you. He groans and in one swift pump enters you. You moan. Varric makes hard fast love to you. He makes you cum and is right behind you pulling out at the last second and cums on your stomach. He collapses next to you. “Damn Varric you are a Casanova.” “Yeah?” “You fucked my brains out.” Varric smirks. “I can feel you smirking, so stop and get me something to clean up with.” He grabs a towel and cleans us up.  


We’re laying cuddling in front of the fire, still naked in each other’s arms. “What are we now Sunshine?” “We can keep this casual and be friends with benefits if that’s what you want? I know you’re still hung up on Bianca.” “How do you know about Bianca?” “You mean besides that you named your crossbow after her? I brought you your last letter from her remember. I saw the name of who it was from. I knew that look on your face when you saw who the letter was from. It’s the same look I used to get when my first love sent me letters.” “Your first love?” “I will tell you if you promise to keep it between us and you can’t laugh or anything. No judging.” “I promise.” “Alistair Theirin.” “Alistair Theirin? As in King of Ferelden Alistair Theirin?!” You chuckle “He wasn’t always King. Back before he was a warden even, we were dating. When he became a Grey Warden, he started writing the letters. When he met the Hero of Ferelden, I knew there was something he didn’t want to tell me. His letters started being more about Rose and the adventure he was on with her than the poems and jokes he used to send me. I knew he was falling in love with her. Finally, I knew I had to let him go. I will always love Alistair in some form, he was my first love after all and you never forget your first love, but I knew his heart didn’t really belong to me anymore. And I told him that and that I understood and that he had my blessing to follow his heart to her. When she died killing the archdemon I wrote him a letter saying I was there for him if he ever needed me.” “Wow, so you really have a type.” “What?” “First Alistair: a Grey Warden, then Blackwall: a Grey Warden, then Cullen: a templar.” You chuckle “I guess when you put it that way.” You notice Varric’s face fall. “Okay, you just went sourpuss on me, what’s wrong?” “I don’t fit that type.” You laugh. “Oh yes you do.” “I’m a rogue.” “That’s not what the type is.” “What do you mean?” “My type is ruggedly handsome with kind eyes, who protect others and wish to make the world just a little better. You fit the type, even if you don’t think so.” “You think I’m ruggedly handsome?” “With kind eyes.” He laughs. He shakes his head. I smile and say, “Well you are different in a few ways.” “Such as?” “Well, you’re a dwarf for one. Secondly, you haven’t broken my heart.” Varric blinks. “Oh.”  


After we sit quietly for a minute each thinking inside our own heads you say, “You never answered my question.” “What question was that?” “I asked if you wanted to remain casual as friends with benefits.” Varric knows he cares for Jean deeply maybe even loves her, but she’s right he’s still hung up on Bianca. He doesn’t want to hurt her so the safest option would be to never do this again, but he knows he wants this to happen again, so it’s not really an option. But she’s giving him an out to be friends with benefits. “Yes.” “Yes what?” “Friends with benefits.” “Okay.” You smile at Varric. You kiss his lips “Friends with benefits it is.” He laughs at how you say that. We get dressed and you say, “Come on you promised me a game of wicked grace after Fallow Mire and I still haven’t gotten one.”  


It’s been a few weeks and Varric comes to you “My friend is here.” “The one you mentioned when we first got to Skyhold?” He nods. You smile and say, “Lead the way.” You’re standing when Varric says “Sunshine meet Hawke the Champion of Kirkwall.” You turn and a ruggedly handsome man with kind eyes is walking down the stairs and your mouth goes a little dry. “Though I don’t use that title much anymore.” Damn his voice is hot. “Hawke the Inquisitor. Thought you might have some friendly advice about Coryphaeus. You and I did fight him after all.” Varric turns away as Hawke leans on the side of the battlement. You cross your arms over your chest, so you don’t reach out and touch. “You’ve already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I’m sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison.” You say flirtingly “Oh I don’t know. You did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari.” “I don’t see how that really applies… or is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don’t know about?” “There’s a Qunari. He almost qualifies as a horde all by himself. Fortunately, he’s on our side.” “So then what can I tell you?” You turn serious “Coryphaeus already killed the divine along with countless others… and he’ll kill a lot more unless we stop him.” You can tell Hawke is deflecting with humor and what you think is flirting when he answers, “You’ve already sealed the breach. That’s damn impressive. I can barely get my friends to stop fighting. Still, if you think I can help…” “Whatever you know helps. Coryphaeus won’t stop killing people until he gets what he wants, and he wants to be a god.” “I suppose you’d better stop him then.” You chuckle at that. “That is the plan there Romeo.” He smiles at you. “This view reminds me of my home in Kirkwall. I had a balcony that overlooked the whole city. I loved it at first. But after a while, all I could see were the people out there depending on me.” You chuckle “If I thought like that, I’d never get anything done.” “How do you put it out of your head?” “I go out into the wilderness and find something that wants to kill me. That usually clears my mind.” “It always works for me.” “You’re lucky it was just a single city. I’ve got half of Thedas.” “You’re doing everything you can to protect them.” “Does it ever get any easier?” “I’ll let you know. I don’t envy you, Inquisitor. But I may be able to help you.” Hawke stands up to face you as you say, “Varric said that you fought Coryphaeus before.” You notice Varric taking a drink as you say this out of the corner of your eye. “Fought and killed. The Grey Wardens were holding him, and he somehow used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them.” Varric comes over and says, “Coryphaeus got into their heads. Messed with their minds. Turned them against one another.” Hawke continues “If the Wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again.” That doesn’t bode well with you. “So Coryphaeus has the venatori, the red templars, and now possibly the Wardens as well? That’s just great.” “I didn’t come this far just to give you bad news.” “If that’s what happened to the Wardens do you think we can free them?” “It’s possible. But we need to know more first.” You sigh. “I’ve got a friend in the Wardens. He was investigating something unrelated for me. His name is Stroud. Last time we spoke, he was worried about corruption in the order's ranks. Since then, nothing.” You blink taking in that knowledge. Varric adds “Coryphaeus certainly counts as corruption in the ranks. Did your friend disappear with them?” “No. He told me he’d be hiding in an old smugglers cave near Crestwood.” You nod then ask, “If you didn’t know about Coryphaeus then what were you doing with the Wardens?” “The Templars in Kirkwall were using a strange form of Lyrium. It was red. I’d hoped the Wardens could tell me more about it.” You groan “Maker’s Balls. Not more red Lyrium. You’re sure it was red Lyrium?” He nods “Hopefully my friend in the Warden’s will know more.” You nod. “I’ll take any lead I can get at the moment.” “Good I’ll do whatever I can to help.” “I appreciate it.” “I’m doing this as much for myself as for you. Coryphaeus is my responsibility. I thought I’d killed him before. This time, I’ll make sure of it.” You nod and we all leave the Battlements. Varric leads Hawke into the hold through the back doors and gets him a room to stay in until we leave for Crestwood.  


You’ve stopped at the Tavern and ask Cabot to give you three ales. “Three?” “Two are for my friends. I’m meeting them in Varric’s room for wicked grace.” He looks at you. “I’ll make sure to bring the mugs back.” He nods and fills three. “You sure you can carry three?” You laugh “Of course I’m sure. Watch.” You put two in one hand and the third in the other. “I can actually carry six at one time.” “Six?” “Two in each hand, one in each elbow. One time I even carried seven by balancing one on my head.” Cabot laughs “How’d that turn out?” “Great actually. It was a very tall friend who took it right off the top of my head.” Cabot nods and you leave to go to Varric’s room. You show up and kick the door with your foot. “I got ale!” Varric laughs opening the door. “Well come on in then.” You smile. You hold out one of the mugs to Hawke who takes it and thanks you. Varric takes his and takes a sip. “Ugh, you got the crappy swill!” You laugh “Fine if you don’t want it, I’ll just drink it.” You go to reach for his mug and Varric pulls it away. “I never said I didn’t want it Sunshine.” You laugh “Well then maybe you shouldn’t complain Casanova.” Hawke laughs at our antics. “I can tell you two are good friends.” You turn to Hawke and just as Varric says, “What makes you think that?” you say, “Good friends? We’re best friends!” Hawke laughs. You laugh too.  


You pull out the cards from your inside pocket. “Ready to play?” Hawke goes to pull out his money bag and you hold up your hand. “We don’t play for coin in this room. In this room, we play for clothes.” Varric groans “But I’m wearing my favorite shirt!” You laugh “You knew it was wicked grace night, so why’d you wear it.” Just as Varric is about to answer there is a knock on the door then Dorian is entering. You laugh “Fashionably late as always Heartbreaker.” “Oh, you know me had to decide what clothes I was willing to lose to you.” You laugh “I do tend to end up with many of your clothes.” “Yes, so many I’m starting to run out.” You do a snort-laugh. “If you need some back you know how to get them.” Dorian groans “I’ve not run out of that many clothes.” Hawke asks, “What does he have to do to get them back?” You smirk and look at Dorian for the answer. “Something I should ever have to do.” Varric laughs “You’d really make him say Orlais has better fashion?” “Oh no, that’s for other things. For his clothes, he has to kiss Mother Giselle or Cassandra on the mouth.” Varric bursts out laughing “No wonder he says he’s not run out of that many clothes.” “Well, there is another option.” Varric asks, “What’s the other option?” You smirk, “Wanna tell them what it is Dorian?” Dorian sighs, “I have to help Leliana trim her nugs’ nails on their creepy little feet.” Varric laughs, “Wow you really are making it hard on him to get his clothes back.” You shrug, “He knows the third option wouldn’t really work so we don’t even bother talking about it.” Dorian’s face lights up “I forgot about the third option! If we aren’t completely wasted tonight, I’d like to choose the third option.” You blink in shock. “You… You want the third option? You do know I created the third option as a joke, right? I never thought you’d be serious about it.” Dorian smiles “I can’t say I’ve not thought about what it would be like before, but I’ve never had the inclination to see.” You blink. “Wow, um, okay. Well, we’ll see how the night goes then.” Varric looks between them. “What the hell is the third option?” You do a full-bodied blush and won’t meet Varric’s eye. He looks between her blushing face and Dorian and he gets it. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Hawke says, “Okay I’m lost. Someone wanna explain?” Varric says, “The third option is they have sex.” “Then how is it so shocking that he’s choosing the third option.” You say, “Dorian prefers men.” Hawke understands now.  


You clear your throat, “So we playing cards or what?” We start to play. Dorian is down to his undershirt and his knickers, Hawke is down to his knickers and pants, and Varric is in only knickers, whilst you have most of your clothes on. You look between Varric and Hawke who are both shirtless and you’ve got a twinkle in your eye. Dorian notices the twinkle, “Enjoying the view Jean?” You laugh “I’ve got three half-naked good-looking men sitting in front of me, what’s not to like?” “That you do. Who’s turn is it to deal?” “Varric’s.” Varric looks at Hawke who just pins him with a look. Ut oh you don’t like that look. Now you’re sitting in only your bra and knickers. Varric and Hawke were teaming up to get you naked. Everyone is currently in only their knickers. If one of the boys loses a hand, they’ll be completely naked. If you lose a hand, you’ll lose your bra but still have your knickers. Just as Dorian deals another hand there is a knock on the door. You blink “You expecting someone Casanova?” He shakes his head. The door swings open and Josephine is there in the doorway. You take in her shocked expression as she sees us all in only our smallclothes. She clears her throat “You are needed Inquisitor.” You blink then groan. “Sorry boys looks like my time is up.” You shift through the pile of clothes you’ve won from the boys. You find a shirt from Dorian, pants from Hawke, and boots from Varric, then you pick up the pile and march out behind Josephine.  


When she leaves the boys look at the piles of clothes they have. Dorian picks up Jean’s long jacket he won along with her belt. “Well, at least I’ve got something that’ll fit me of hers.” Varric laughs “This is my chambers I’m good. Poor Hawke here has got her shirt and gloves.” Dorian laughs “I’m sure nobody will notice you leaving Varric’s chambers in Jean’s shirt with no pants on.” Hawke groans, “You could have warned me she was better than you at Wicked Grace Varric, or that you played for clothes.” “And ruin the fun? You need to borrow some pants?” “I’ll be fine, just tell me the quickest and least visible route back to my room.” So Hawke puts on Jean’s shirt which is just a tad too small, picks up her gloves, and starts his way back to his room. Varric turns to Dorian who is putting on Jean’s jacket and using the belt to hold it closed. “You know that actually doesn’t look too different from other things I’ve seen you wear.” “Yes I suppose not.” “Were you really going to sleep with Jean tonight?” “Jean is an incredible woman.” “That wasn’t the question.” “Yes I was. I can’t say she’s never piqued my interest because I would be lying.” “You actually find her attractive sexually?” “Yes. Can you say you’ve never found her sexually attractive?” Varric actually blushes and looks away. Dorian blinks “You’ve slept with her. I did not see that one coming. When?” Varric says, “After her disappearing act. I heard Blackwall asking for them to have another chance and she saw me running away. She found me here and told me she was over both Blackwall and Cullen. Then it happened.” “So are you two a thing?” “No.” “Then what are you.” “Friends with benefits.” “Your idea I take it?” “Hers actually.” “She suggested that? Hmm. Well, thoughts for another time.” Dorian turns and leaves out the door.  


Cullen, Leliana, and Cassandra are looking at you confused by your attire and the pile of men’s clothes in your arms. Cassandra asks, “Did we interrupt wicked grace night?” You nod. “Yeah.” Leliana asks, “Who was all playing?” “Me, Dorian, Varric, and Varric’s friend.” Cassandra asks, “So which clothes are you wearing and from who?” “Well the shirt is Dorian’s, the pants are Varric’s friends, and the boots are Varric’s. I feel bad for Dorian and Varric’s friend. They didn’t have too many clothes of mine.” Cullen is as red as a tomato when Josephine asks, “Oh? What of yours did they win?” “Dorian won my long jacket and my belt, Varric’s friend won my shirt and gloves, and Varric won my pants, shoes, and undershirt.” Leliana chuckles. You notice Cullen is beet red. “Perhaps we should save Cullen’s face and talk about why Josie pulled me from my game?”  


The next day you notice Dorian is wearing your long jacket over his other clothes. You laugh and walk over. You’re wearing Varric’s favorite shirt and Dorian’s pants today. “See we both are wearing our spoils from last night's game.” Bull exclaims “I thought that new coat of his looked familiar, I wondered where he got it.” “Well, he only got that coat and my belt last night.” “Oh did Varric win the rest?” “We had another player last night. Varric’s friend won my shirt and gloves, Varric won my pants, shoes, and undershirt.” “So you won all of Dorian’s clothes again?” “yes, and I won all of Varric’s and Varric’s friends too.” “You should invite me to the next game.” “Bull you don’t wear enough clothes for that game to last long enough for it to be fun.” “I could put on a shirt.” “But you won’t, you know you won’t.” “You’re right. Though Kadan is almost out of clothes.” You look at Dorian “You must be out of clothes if Bull is noticing your lack of them.” Dorian shrugs, “I was hoping for option three last night so that I could get some back.” You smile “I’ll settle for a kiss to give you two outfits back. How’s that?” Dorian smiles. He pulls you to him and kisses you with tongue. You break apart. Bull looks between you two. “That was hot. Do it again.” You laugh “No Bull we’re not doing it again. Come find me later in my chambers and I’ll give you a couple of outfits back Heartbreaker.” Dorian nods.  


Varric saw Dorian and Jean kiss with Bull watching and wonders what that is about. Hawke notices the kiss too and shrugs it off knowing it probably has to do with the Vint getting some clothes back. “So is Jean single?” “What?” “Jean. Is she single?” “Why?” “Does that matter to you?” “She’s one of my best friends, I don’t need you hurting her.” “I wouldn’t hurt her.” “Yes you would, look what happened with Isabella.” “That was something completely different and you know it.” “You gave your girlfriend to the Arishok.” Hawke looks at Varric then it hits him. “You’ve slept with her, haven’t you? You’ve got feelings for her.” “What?” “I can see it now. You care about her more than just friends. How long ago did you sleep with her?” Varric sighs “Not long” “So you two not an item then?” “Friends with benefits.” “Your idea?” “Why does everyone assume it’s my idea? No, it was hers.” “So if I got Jean into bed you wouldn’t be upset?” Varric doesn’t know how he feels about that, so he just shrugs. “Good, because I want to take her to bed.” Varric sighs “You’re her type you know.” “What?” “You’re her type.” “Her type?” “Her first love was a grey warden as was her second, her third love was a templar.” “Really?” “Yeah. Two of them are actually here in Skyhold.” “Who?” “Blackwall and Cullen.” “The Commander and the guy who hangs out by the horses?” “Yeah. Blackwall is a Grey Warden; Cullen was a Templar.” “So her type is warrior? That doesn’t explain you.” Varric laughs “I said the same thing. She said it’s not warrior it’s ruggedly handsome with kind eyes who protect others and wish to make the world just a little better. Her words, not mine.” “I can see how we both fit that description.” Varric looks away as he sees that look on Hawke’s face. The look that means he’s determined to bed a certain girl. Varric knows Hawke will succeed in bedding Jean and he’s not sure how he feels about that.  


You’re finally leaving for Crestwood. Blackwall isn’t coming this time, but Dorian is. Bull is coming and so is Varric. You’re only bringing those three with you this time. Well, and Garrett Hawke is coming. Hawke has insisted that you call him Garrett instead of Hawke. You and Garrett have been talking, joking, and flirting with each other the whole ride so far. The other three are behind you enough that you can’t hear the others' conversation. You however know that they are talking about you flirting with Garrett because you know them. You just ignore them and continue to flirt with Garrett. We stop to set up camp. As the boys set up the tents you’re tending to the mounts. Bull rides a Nuggalope named Glory, Dorian rides a Dracolisk named Draco, Varric rides a pony named Buttercup, and you’ve brought Brutus now that he lets you ride him. Garrett rode Charlie a chestnut stallion. You’ve brushed out all the fur of Brutus, Buttercup, and Charlie. You wash down Glory and scratch down Draco. You give them all water and feed them each what they eat. Garrett notices after they’ve finished setting up camp and even started dinner that Jean is still not with them. “Is she really still with the mounts?” “Jean loves animals, she won’t even sit down until she’s done taking care of the mounts. The more mounts there are the longer it takes her. And with Glory and Draco not being horses they each have special care that takes longer.” “Wow.” You smile as you notice dinner is already started, then frown. “Who’s cooking? I swear if you let Dorian cook again, I’m going to slap someone.” Bull laughs “Hawke and Varric are making dinner.” “Good at least I know if Varric is making it that it’ll be edible unlike if you or Dorian cook Bull.” “Hey my food’s edible.” “Bull you served us raw meat last time you cooked. Your food is not edible Bull. And whatever the hell Dorian tried to cook last time made us sick. There’s a reason either Varric or Blackwall make the food if I haven’t.” Hawke is laughing “You mean Varric usually cooks for everyone?” “Is that unusual?” “Seeing as I didn’t know he could cook yes.” “So I take it you made tonight’s dinner then?” “Yep.” “I better not get sick from it or I’m going to kick you in the crotch.” Garrett and Varric laugh. Varric says “Take it easy Sunshine Garrett is a better cook than me.” “I’ll be the judge of that.” “Okay I admit Garrett’s food is better than yours Varric, but Blackwall’s still is better.” “You can’t be serious? You like Blackwall’s food better than Hawke’s?” “Blackwall always makes my favorites for me when we travel.” “That’s not fair, Hawke doesn’t know your favorites.” “Well, maybe you should tell him.” “Her favorite is bear and ram stew or roasted fennec for lunch and dinner, she likes birds eggs for breakfast and leftover stew from the night before.” Garrett looks at you “You like bear and ram stew? Most girls don’t, say it’s too gamey.” “I happen to like gamey.” “So do I. I’ll have to make some for you for dinner tonight.” You smile “I’d like that.”  


“So how are we setting up the tents tonight? I know Dorian and Bull are sharing.” Varric laughs at that. “So am I sharing with Casanova or Romeo?” Dorian answers, “Perhaps you should share with Hawke, he is the only one you haven’t shared with before. It is how you judge them worthy of having your back.” That settles it. I’ll share with Romeo. Thanks Heartbreaker.” Dorian smirks as he watches you head to tell Hawke you’re sharing with him. Bull asks, “What have you done now Kadan?” “Nothing bad Amatus.” “What did you do?” “Told Jean to share a tent with Hawke.” Bull laughs “What you don’t want to hear any more of their flirting Kadan?” “Hopefully, no.” “You should hear when her and Varric flirt then.” “They flirt?” “Oh it’s not flirting like she does with Hawke but it’s still flirting.” “Ah, so you see them flirting when in fact they aren’t.” “Oh, no, they’re flirting alright.” “Whatever you say Amatus.” They turn to watch you talking with Hawke.  


“Garrett can I borrow you?” “Sure what’s up?” “The way I judge if someone is worthy of having my back is, I spend one night sleeping in a tent with them. If I can’t get to sleep, it means subconsciously I don’t trust them to have my back.” “Let me guess it’s my turn?” “Yup.” “So I’ll be sharing a tent with you tonight. Excellent.” You smile at him smiling at you. Hawke is laying down on the bedroll and then he realizes there’s only one bedroll. “Uh, Jean?” “Yeah Garrett?” “There’s only one bedroll.” “Of course there’s only one bedroll. How else do think I’m going to judge if I trust you subconsciously. You’ll be holding me, and if I can’t sleep with you holding me, then it means I don’t trust you subconsciously.” “Oh.” You smile “Problem?” “No.” He just opens his arms, and you crawl into them. “Goodnight Garrett.” “Night Jean.” You close your eyes and fall straight asleep.  


In the morning you wake up still in Garrett’s arms. You smile and look up at his sleeping face, he’s so handsome. You go to pull out of his arms, and he tightens them then mumbles “Not yet.” You laugh “How long have you been awake?” “Few minutes.” “Just like holding me then?” “Yes.” You smile “Alright time to get up.” We get up and exit the tent. You turn to Garrett “Okay you take down the tent I’ll get the mounts ready, then we’ll see who’s making breakfast.” He nods and starts to take down the tent. You walk into Dorian’s and Bull’s tent. “Alright up you get and put some pants before you come to breakfast this time Bull.” They both groan. “Get up.” “We’re up.” You turn and head to Varric’s tent. You walk over to Varric and gently shake his shoulder “Time to get up sleepyhead.” He groans. “Come on wake up.” He opens his eyes and looks at you. “Fine, I’m awake.” You smile and laugh. “Good. Take down your tent then we’ll see who’s making breakfast.” He nods. You notice Dorian and Bull are taking their tent down. You feed and water the mounts then get the saddles on all of them. They’re ready to go now. You head to see who’s making breakfast.  


You see Dorian and Bull by the breakfast pot. “Step away from the breakfast pot you two.” They back up. You turn to see Garrett and Varric heading this way. “Good now we can see who’s making breakfast, I already got Dorian and Bull away from the pot.” Varric says, “Hawke wants to make breakfast.” “Okay, Garrett go ahead then.” Garrett makes eggs and fennec. “This was good.” “Thanks.” You smile. Garrett and I are riding next to each other flirting again. You can hear Dorian complaining about something to Bull. You turn and say, “What’re you complaining about now Heartbreaker?” Dorian laughs “Heard me, did you?” “Only the whiny tone of your voice not the actual words.” Bull laughs “She got you Kadan.” You smile “Is it something important he’s whining about Bull or is it him just whining?” “Just whining, nothing important.” “Okay, then I shall ignore it.” “You would ignore me?” “Ignore you never. Ignore your whining yes.” We all chuckle at that.  


That night Garrett makes my favorite: Bear and Ram stew. You smile eating it, it’s better than Blackwall’s, but you don’t want to admit it. “So Sunshine is Hawke’s stew better than Blackwall’s?” “Oh I don’t know. I really do like Blackwall’s stew, but that might also be because I used to date the man.” Varric groans “Really Sunshine?” You laugh. “Oh alright, yes I think Hawke’s stew is better than Blackwall’s but that’s only because Blackwall never gets to use this fresh of meat. The meat Blackwall uses is always from our supplies, we’ve never had fresh bear meat for him to use. Blackwall’s seasoning is better.” Varric nods “I do gotta hand it to Blackwall, he does season things pretty damn good.” “I think that’s because he was by himself for so long that he had time to work on it.” Varric nods agreeing with you. “Well I’m tired so whoever is sharing my tent should get there now.” You say this knowing it’ll be taken as a race between Varric and Garrett. Dorian and Bull always share a tent now. Garrett is the first into your tent. You smile at that. Varric grumbles but goes into the other tent.  


You lay down in Garrett’s arms. “You seemed eager to share my tent.” “Of course. I get to have an amazing and beautiful woman in my arms.” You blush. You look up and the look of desire in Garrett’s eyes is almost overwhelming. You search his eyes to see if there’s anything besides genuine desire in them and there isn’t. You lean in and kiss him. He deepens it. We end up making love. You’re laying naked in Garrett’s arms. “I’m glad I asked Dorian to do a silence barrier around the tent.” Garrett looks at you, “You asked him to do a silence barrier?” “I knew Dorian and Bull had plans and I didn’t want to hear them.” “Oh. I’m glad as well then.” You smile and kiss him again. “This was fun, we should do this again sometime.” You laugh and answer, “I wouldn’t be against that idea.”  


In the morning Varric keeps looking between you two. You meet his eye with a questioning look. He nods towards Hawke. You smile and nod. The look Varric returns to you, you don’t understand it. It’s almost as if Varric is jealous and sad at the same time. That’s what you’re reading in that look, but that can’t be right, so you pretend you didn’t see that last look. Finally, we make it to Crestwood, and you groan at Scout Harding’s report. “As if we didn’t see enough undead in Fallow Mire.” Varric nods “I’m not looking forward to fighting more undead.” “Well, at least we know how to kill them already.” “There is that.” You smile at Varric. We close the rift in the lake, bring the bodies back to the revered mother, kill the bothersome wyvern, and now we’re looking for Garrett’s friend. You find the cave and Garrett says, “This is it. Stroud should be here.” You nod.  


Of course, Stroud points his sword at you when he meets you. You just pierce him with a look that says he better lower the sword, or you’ll make him. You can tell Stroud doesn’t like your look, but thankfully Garrett intervenes. “It’s just me. I’ve brought the inquisitor.” You smile then. “Nice to meet you, Stroud.” “Pleased to meet you, Inquisitor.” You nod. We all talk, and Stroud tells us about the Wardens gathering in the Western Approach. You groan “Not the Western Approach I didn’t get all the sand out for weeks last time.” Varric groans too “I’m with you Sunshine, I got sand in places sand should never be last time.” Dorian laughs “At least it’s warm there.” You and Varric both give Dorian matching death glares when he mentions the heat. He raises his hands in surrender. “We better let the others back at Skyhold know.” Bull asks, “We writing a letter or going in person?” “In person, I gotta switch out my clothes so I don’t die of heatstroke. Imagine the Inquisitor dying because she was too hot, that’d go over well.” All the boys laugh at that.  


We make it back to Skyhold and you let Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana know about the western approach. After the meeting, Cullen pulls you aside to ask something of you. “Since you’re going to the keep in the Western Approach would you mind bringing something along to Rylen for me?” “Of course. What am I bringing?” Cullen hands you a letter and a few packages that you can tell he had a cooling spell placed on them. “Okay, what’s in the packages that requires a cooling spell?” “Cheese.” You laugh “I forgot that Ferelden’s and those from Starkhaven both have a thing for cheese.” Cullen laughs with you. “Don’t forget you yourself loves cheese.” “I do love cheese. What kind of cheese are you sending Rylen?” He tells you the different kinds he’s sending. “Maybe I can get him to share when we’re there?” “I have some extra from what I’m sending him in my chambers if you’d like to share some with me?” You smile big “I would love that.”  


Cullen and I head to his chambers and eat cheese together for a little bit while talking. You’ve missed spending this time with Cullen as friends. You were friends before you dated. “I’ve missed spending time with you, Cullen. This is nice.” “I’ve missed you as well.” You smile, Cullen leans in and kisses your lips softly. You pull away when the kiss is done. Cullen sees the look on your face and asks, “You no longer feel the same, do you?” You smile sadly “I’m sorry Cullen, but after you broke my heart, I had to pick up the pieces.” “That’s why you left for a week isn’t it?” You nod. “I needed some time away to heal. You were the third man I ever loved, and the third man to break my heart.” “Blackwall wasn’t the first?” You shake your head. “If you promise not to judge, or laugh, I’ll tell you who my first love was.” “I promise.” “Alistair Theirin.” “The King of Ferelden? Your first love was the King of Ferelden?” “He wasn’t King at the time; he wasn’t even a Grey Warden when we first started dating.” “Really?” “We were together when he left for the Grey Wardens. He used to write me letters all the time.” Your face falls as you continue, “Then he met Rose, The Hero of Ferelden, and I knew his heart was no longer mine. I told him he had my blessing to follow his heart to her and that I understood, but it still broke my heart.” “I’m sorry.” “I will always love Alistair in some way, you never truly forget your first love, but it was a long time ago now.” Cullen nods. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us.” “I didn’t want to see it when you told me, but you were right. We were too broken ourselves to help heal the other’s broken parts. It hurt I’ll admit, but I’ve healed, and hopefully one day we will both find happiness with someone.” “I hope so as well.” You smile. You stand up “I should get going.” Cullen nods. “We should do this again.” You pat his cheek “You bring the cheese and I’ll bring the wit.” He laughs “It’s a deal.” You smile and leave.  


Varric sees Jean leaving Cullen’s chambers and he feels a little jealous. He wonders why she was there. You notice Varric out of the corner of your eye as you’re leaving Cullen’s chambers. You can tell even from here that he’s wondering what you were doing in Cullen’s chambers. You navigate your way to behind him silently. You lean down and say in his ear “What are you doing?” He startles and you swear he jumps three feet in the air. You burst out laughing. “I so got you!” Varric starts laughing too. “I guess you did. So I noticed you coming out of Curly’s chambers what’s up?” “We were eating cheese.” Varric laughs “You two and your cheese.” “He’s having me bring a few packages to Rylen at the Griffin Keep.” “I see. So you up for a game of wicked grace?” “I promised Blackwall and Solas that I’d play Diamondback with them tonight.” “I’m up for Diamondback.” “You know you’d be playing with Blackwall, right?” “Yeah, I know.” “If you’re up for it, we’re meeting at the tavern.” Varric follows you to the tavern. Blackwall raises an eyebrow at Varric being here. “Found us another player if you don’t mind.” Blackwall says, “Not at all.” We all sit down and are teaching Solas how to play. You blink as you’re down to your bra and knickers while Blackwall and Varric are now both naked. You say “Alright I’m done playing before I end up naked too. Congrats, Solas you win.” You turn to Varric and Blackwall appreciating the view for a minute before saying “I’ll find you guys something to cover your bits with.” You end up finding two buckets. As we’re leaving the tavern you say, “I’m not playing Diamondback with Solas ever again. What about you two?” “Nope.” “We should warn others.” You nod at Blackwall’s comment. We all head our separate ways. Of course, while you are half-naked you run into Cullen, Leliana, Cassandra, and Josephine. The looks on their faces are priceless. “Don’t play Diamondback with Solas, you’ve been warned. We taught it to him tonight and I’m leaving in my knickers while Varric and Blackwall left with buckets for their bits.” The girls nod and Cullen can’t stop staring with a super red face.” You smile at the girls “I think I broke Cullen.” Cullen at hearing his name clears his throat and looks away. You laugh “I’ll see you guys tomorrow when I’m properly dressed.” You salute them and walk off to your chambers.  


You’re in the Western Approach now. You groan out “It’s too dark to be this hot, or it’s too hot to be this dark. I don’t know which one, but it’s one of them.” Varric nods and groans out “I’ve got sand where sand shouldn’t be again.” You laugh. “Hey.” “Sorry.” You finally make it to where you see Garrett and Stroud waiting. You smile and hug Garrett. “It’s good to see you, Garrett, sorry that it’s in this awful place.” Garrett smiles at you “Good to see you too. And I agree with you about this place being awful.” Dorian says, “I for one like the heat.” The rest of us groan. You turn to Bull and ask, “Bet you’re glad you don’t wear shirts right now, aren’t you?” “Yes.” You smile. “Alright, let's go stop this ritual.” It does not go well, and you feel bad about the wardens afterward. Varric notices the sad look on your face whenever someone mentions the Wardens, he wants it to go away.  


You’re all back as Skyhold now. You see Varric and Hawke in the hallway outside of the war room. You hear Varric thank Hawke for coming. You smile at their friendship. Garrett turns to you “I’ve told your specialist about Adamant.” You nod. “Thanks. I’ll talk to them about it. You’ll be coming with us, right?” “Of course.” You nod and head into the War room. You talk to them and we make the plan to attack adamant. Even though you helped make this plan now that we’re here enacting it, you hate it. You’re worried about our soldiers. Cullen comes up to you and says they’ll hold the walls through any means necessary. You look at Cullen and say, “No. Not through any means necessary. Keep our men safe and promise me that you’ll be safe?” Cullen sighs and nods “I promise to see you alive after the battle.” You nod. Cullen says Hawke is on the battlements helping with the demons until we get there. Your entire inner circle is here fighting but Cole, Cassandra, and Blackwall happen to be the closest to you when we start to fall off the side of Adamant. Hawke and Stroud were next to you as well. You open a rift and huff when you land on the ground. You blink. Shit, we’re in the fade. Cole is freaking out. You hug him to you to try to calm him. “We’ll get you out of here as soon as we can Cole.” He answers, “Thank you.”  


We’re fighting fear demons, and someone says something about them being spiders. “You see spiders? I’d gladly take bloody spiders!” Hawke asks, “What do you see?” You look at the fear demons in the shape of your friends as the undead because you couldn’t protect them. Hawke takes your hand, “What do you see?” You look at his face, his normal blood-smeared face, and sigh. “All my friends as undead because I couldn’t protect them.” Hawke looks shocked at that’s what you see. “Look at me.” You look at him. “I’m not undead, I’m right here.” You nod. “Thank you.” He keeps hold of your hand until we have to fight more. The more fear demons you face the more times you have to kill your undead friends. Finally, we make it to the big boss. You send Cole, Cassandra, and Blackwall ahead out the rift. The Nightmare blocks the path of you, Stroud, and Hawke. Hawke and Stroud are arguing about who is going to stay behind. Hawke says it’s his job. Stroud says it’s Grey Warden’s mistake so he’s going to fix it. You start crying. You know you’re sentencing whoever you choose to stay behind to death. You turn to Stroud. You start crying harder and hug Stroud. He knows it’s you choosing him to stay. He says, “It’s been an honor fighting by your side Inquisitor.” You answer, “The honor is mine.” Stroud keeps the Nightmare’s attention while Hawke and I escape through the rift. You have tears on your face as you close the rift behind you. You tell the Warden’s of Stroud staying behind, dying a hero, upholding the Warden code of honor.  


The battle is done, and we’ve lost so many. When the tents are up, and dinner is done you say you’ll take watch. Varric needs to know what happened to her in the fade. Varric goes over to Hawke. “What happened in the fade?” “It wasn’t pretty. You know Stroud stayed behind, but what you don’t know is Jean was the one to decided whether myself or Stroud stayed. As if the fear demons weren’t bad enough for her, we made her choose who was going to die.” “She chose?” “Yes.” “The others said that the fear demons took a different form for everyone, do you know what she saw?” “All of her friends as undead because she couldn’t protect them.” Varric pales. He knows just having to choose who stayed behind will partly destroy her, but seeing the fear demons as undead friends she couldn’t protect? Varric looks at Hawke and says, “I’m going to go help Jean on watch.” “Good, I don’t think she should be alone. I would have gone to her, but I don’t think seeing me will be good for her right now.” “Probably not.”  


“Hey.” You turn as you hear Varric. “Hey.” Varric opens his arms to you and you fling yourself into them and let the tears escape. He rubs your back. “Shh. It’s okay. I’m right here.” Finally, you’re calm enough to stop crying. Varric smiles softly at you “Better?” You just nod. You rearrange so Varric’s arms are still around you, but you can look at the stars. “Did Hawke tell you what happened in the fade?” “Yeah. I’m sorry you had to choose.” “It wasn’t much of a choice. I knew I couldn’t leave Hawke behind. He’s your best friend, and I could never hurt you by leaving your best friend to die.” Varric tightens his arms around you. You lean your head on his shoulder. “Did he tell you what form the fear demons took for me?” “Yes. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” “I’m not. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, let alone one of my best friends.” Varric nods. Eventually, Varric falls asleep sitting with you. You smile and gently wake him “Go to your tent. Get some sleep. I’ll be here.” Varric wants to protest but the look you give him stops him. When Varric leaves you look at the stars again.  


Come morning you’ve not slept a wink. You know you won’t be sleeping for at least a few days. You, of course, are correct. It’s been almost a full week and you haven’t slept a single wink in the time span. Even Cullen has taken notice that you haven’t slept and said something to you. You can’t take any more of those disappointing looks. At least Varric hasn’t given you those looks; he just looks at you with worry in his eyes. That’s it you’ve got to leave; you can’t be here for a little while. As you’re getting Brutus ready to leave, Varric shows up. “I’m not letting you run off by yourself again Sunshine.” “Then come with me, because I need to leave.” He nods. You get on Brutus and pull Varric up behind you. “Hold on tight.” Varric wraps his arms around you and Brutus takes off out the exit gate. Blackwall caught their conversation and watches them go. Dorian shows up looking for Jean. “She’s not here.” “Oh? Do you know where she is then?” “She took off on Brutus again. This time though Varric caught her before she left, and she took him with her.” “At least she took someone with her this time.” Dorian leaves to go tell the others that Jean is gone again.  


When Brutus stops running in front of the waterfall cave you smile. You get off Brutus and help Varric down. “Is this where you went last time?” “Yes. Come on I’ll show you the cave.” You lead Brutus into the cave and untack him. Brutus lays down and goes to sleep. You show Varric around the cave. “Well, this is cozy.” “It’s a safe place to be away from it all.” Varric nods. When you try to go to sleep you wake up terrified from your nightmare. Varric is right there with his arms around you soothing you. You cling to him. You look into his eyes and lean in and press your lips to his. He kisses back. He makes slow sweet love to you, comforting you with his body. You finally fall asleep and don’t dream. In the morning you smile softly at Varric and say, “Thank you for last night.” “Anytime.” You nod. On the sixth night of being here, you pull out the wine and cards from the back. You walk to Varric “Wicked Grace?” He smiles “Playing for clothes?” “Of course.” You let Varric win, only after you got him down to his knickers. Now that you’re naked Varric claims your mouth with his. Varric fucks your brains out. You’re laying naked in Varric’s arms afterward. “Well, I think we both won that game.” “I’d say so.” You smile. You fall asleep safe in Varric’s arms.  


Varric watches you sleep, and he knows that he would do anything to protect you. And he knows for sure now that he loves her, he’s just not sure if he’s in love with her. Because how he loves Jean isn’t how he’s in love with Bianca. He falls asleep holding you. In the morning you wake up in Varric’s arms. “I think it’s time we go back to Skyhold.”  


When we get back to Skyhold Dorian pulls you to him in a hug. “I’m glad you took someone with you, even if that someone wasn’t me.” You melt into his hug. “Dorian, you’re my best friend, and I think of you like a brother, but we both know we would never survive being stuck together with only the other for company for a week.” “Unfortunately, you are right sister.” You smile pulling out of his hug. Bull squishes you. “Can’t breathe.” Bull lets you go “Good to see you doing better Boss.” “Thanks Bull.” “So who told you guys that I wasn’t by myself this time?” “Blackwall overheard you and Varric in the stables and watched you go. He informed us.” “So are the Iron Ladies going to kill me for disappearing for a week again?” “I’m not sure.” You laugh “Well I better go see.” You stop by the Stables and pull Blackwall to you in a hug. He hugs back unsure why you’re hugging him. “Thank you for telling the others I wasn’t alone, so they didn’t worry as much.” “It was no problem.” You break the hug and smile at him. “You’re a good man Thom.” He pales and asks, “How do you know that name?” “I’ve known your real name since the moment I saw your face. I recognized you, even with the beard.” “And yet you still fell in love with me?” “You’re a good man, no matter what you tell yourself. I’ve always believed it.” “Then you knew my secret and you still let me break your heart because I thought you didn’t?” “I let you break my heart over it because you thought I would break yours if you told me. That’s what truly broke my heart, not that you had a secret you thought you couldn’t tell me, but that you thought I wouldn’t understand and that you didn’t trust me with it.” “I’m sorry. All this time you knew, we could have still been together.” You pat his cheek “You’re a good man with a good heart who doesn’t think himself worthy of love. We both know you would have broken my heart eventually.” He nods. You turn and leave him to go find the Iron Ladies and Cullen in the War Room.  


You flinch as the Iron Ladies are chastising you for disappearing for a week. Cullen actually comes to your defense and says, “At least she was not alone this time.” “Yes because taking only Varric is so much better.” You narrow your eyes at Cassandra when she says this. In cold anger, you say, “I know you and Varric don’t get along, but don’t you dare imply that Varric would ever let something happen to me.” That shuts Cassandra up. Your cold anger is so much worse than your passionate fiery anger. The rest of them didn’t really have anything to say after they felt your cold anger towards Cassandra, so they ended the meeting. Life goes on in Skyhold.  


You notice Varric laughing with a female dwarf when you enter the great hall. When she introduces herself as Bianca you shoot a look at Varric. Varric won’t meet your eyes. So this is the dwarf he’s hung up on and named his crossbow after. Turns out Bianca is there with a lead on where Coryphaeus gets his red Lyrium. “Alright, we’ll check this out.” When she leaves you turn to Varric “So that’s Bianca then.” He just nods not meeting your eyes. You roll your eyes. “Alright who are we bringing with us this time?” “The usual.” “Blackwall and I just had a heart to heart and need a minute apart, so he’s not coming.” “Just Sparkler and Bull then.” You nod “Okay I’ll let them know.” You turn, leaving Varric to watch you walk away.  


We make it all the way to where Bianca picks up a key and locks the door. That’s her key, she’s the leak. You can see Varric has come to the same conclusion. You call Bianca stupid for messing with red Lyrium. You can tell finding out Bianca is the leak has really hurt Varric. Varric walks away with the others. Bianca says, “Get Varric killed Inquisitor and I’ll feed you your eyeballs.” Your cold anger comes stronger than it ever has before. You lean down to get into her face and say, “You listen here you little bitch. I’m not the one hurting Varric by stringing him along in a relationship that can go nowhere because you are married. I’m not the one treating him like shit, like some toy you can put on a shelf until you need it. I’m not just saying this because he’s fucked my brains out a few times, no I actually love him unlike you. So you’re gonna stop hurting him or I’ll leave you in a place not even your bones will be found.” She pales actually scared of you. She turns and rushes off pushing past the others.  


Bull notices when Jean and the lady dwarf aren’t right behind him. He turns and sees Jean’s shoulders tense in cold anger. “Uh oh.” “What’s uh oh?” “Jean’s shoulders just tensed in cold anger. I think your lady friend just threatened Jean.” They all turn to see you bend down and start talking to Bianca. When you’re done Bianca is pale and comes pushing past them in a rush to leave. Then Jean turns around and they can see the smirk on her face with residual cold anger. You walk up to the others “Let’s go.” They follow you.  


A few days later Varric gets a letter from Bianca who didn’t even say goodbye to him before she left. Varric opens it and reads it “Dear Varric. I’m ending things between us. We both know this relationship is going nowhere. I can’t keep you to myself anymore, I can’t keep hurting you. The inquisitor truly cares about you, enough that when I threatened her, she threatened me back enough to truly scare me. You know I don’t scare easily. Don’t let her slip through your fingers as you did me. Sincerely Bianca.” Varric rereads the letter twice. He can’t believe Bianca threatened Jean, even more, he can’t believe Jean threatened Bianca right back enough to actually scare her. What did Jean say that made Bianca end things with him? Varric takes the letter and finds Jean in her chambers. “We need to talk Jean.”  


You turn at Varric calling you by your name. “What about?” Varric shoves a letter at you. You read it twice and your eyes linger on that last line. Don’t let her slip through your fingers as you did me. You look up at Varric. Varric asks angrily “What did you say to her that made her end things with me?” Oh he’s angry about it. “You really want to know?” “I asked, didn’t I?” “Alright. Well, she threatened to feed me my eyeballs if I got you killed. So I simply responded in kind.” “Tell me what you said, word for word.” “Alright, you asked for it. I said you listen here you little bitch. I’m not the one hurting Varric by stringing him along in a relationship that can go nowhere because you are married. I’m not the one treating him like shit, like some toy you can put on a shelf until you need it. I’m not just saying this because he’s fucked my brains out a few times, no I actually love him unlike you. So you’re gonna stop hurting him or I’ll leave you in a place not even your bones will be found.” Varric blinks he can’t believe she told Bianca that they slept together and that she loves him. His anger goes away the second he realizes that she said she loves him. You notice the second Varric’s anger melts away and confusion replaces it.  


We’ve been sitting in silence for a minute now. You’re just waiting for Varric to say something. “You love me?” You roll your eyes “Have you ever known me to lie?” Varric finally meets your eyes and he sees love in them when you look at him. Varric thinks back to that last line of the letter. Don’t let her slip through your fingers as you did me. You watch as Varric is thinking again. Suddenly Varric is dragging your lips to his in a bruising kiss. You kiss back. When you break apart you ask, “What was that?” “I’m in love with you Jean. I have been for a long time. I just couldn’t admit it to myself. It’s why I was jealous even when you were dating Blackwall.” You smile and kiss him gently on the lips. “I’ve always cared for you deeply, but after Cullen is when I realized that I was in love with you. It hurt when I suggested we be friends with benefits, but I didn’t want to go back to how we were. I knew you weren’t over Bianca so I settled for what I could get.” Varric kisses you. “I’m sorry.” You just smile at him “For what?” “For hurting you. For you having to deal with Bianca.” “To be honest I’m glad to have dealt with Bianca.” Varric sighs “For what it’s worth I am too. I think we needed someone to open our eyes.” You smile and kiss him. “So how do you feel about Bianca?” “She was my first love.” “You’ll always carry a piece of her with you in your heart, just as I’ll always carry a piece of Alistair in mine. Your first love never truly leaves you.” He nods and says, “I want you to know that my heart is yours.” You smile and kiss him, “And my heart is yours for as long as you want it.” “I want it until I die.” “Then you shall have it.”  


After we defeat Coryphaeus, you go to Kirkwall with Varric. You get married not long after. And nine months after the wedding your son Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras is born. Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole is two years old when we go to the Exalted Council. Cassandra is now Divine Victoria. You have your son in your arms as you go to meet with your friends. Varric is being accosted by Bran already. You kiss your husband’s cheek “I’m going to introduce Garrett to our friends.” He nods and smiles watching you go search for their friends holding their son. You find Josephine first. “Jean, who do you have here?” “This is Varric and my son Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras. He’s just turned two.” “He’s so handsome.” “Just like his father.” Josie laughs “I’m happy that you’ve found such happiness Jean.” “Thanks, Josie. You haven’t seen one of his namesakes yet, have you?” “Ambassador Pavus was above the waterfalls, and Cole was by the bar.” “Thanks, Josie.”  


You carry Garrett to find Dorian next. You spot him talking with a delegate, but as soon as Dorian spots you, he excuses himself and comes over. He smiles at seeing you, then his eyes land on your son. “So the rumors you and Varric had a son are true.” You laugh “Yes we had a son. Dorian Pavus meet Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras.” Dorian’s face lights up as you say his first middle name. “I like that you’ve named him after me, but why isn’t he called Dorian Garrett.” You laugh “Because I lost that argument.” “You lost an argument? To Varric?” “No, I lost an argument to both Varric and Garrett Hawke.” “That I can see happening.” You ask, “Would you like to hold your godson and nephew Dorian?” “Godson? I’m his godfather?” “If you want to be. Well one of them anyway.” “Let me guess Hawke is the other?” “Yes.” “You said nephew?” “Remember when I said I didn’t want to be always remembered as Inquisitor and wrote you asking how you would feel if I was really your sister?” “You didn’t?” “I did. My maiden name is Jean Pavus. I changed it before I even moved to Kirkwall with Varric.” He hugs you until Garrett squirms. Dorian holds Garrett with such a smile on his face. “You’d make a good father you know. Of course if you and Bull raised a child that child would be hell on the rest of us.” Dorian looks at you “Why are you telling me this?” You look at him sheepishly “I found an orphan that reminds me so much of you and Bull mixed together.” “You want me and Bull to become their guardians?” You nod. “I’ll ask Bull, but I wanted to bring it up to you.” “Did you happen to bring this child?” “Yes, she’s with our nanny.” “She?” “Her name is Saphira.” “That’s a Tevinter name?” “Yes, her mother Lavinia came to Kirkwall for a new start. I befriended her, when she got sick, she asked me to make sure Saphira was taken care of. I said I would.” “I must meet this child.” “Come on.” You walk Dorian over to Herah, your Tal-Vashoth nanny. “Your nanny is Tal-Vashoth?” “Yes. Her name is Herah, she’s been helping with Saphira and Garrett.” You turn “Herah can you bring Saphira over?” Herah looks up and smiles. She picks the just turned 3-year-old girl and carries her to us. She sets her down. The look on Dorian’s face the moment he sees her, you know he’ll keep her. “Saphira come meet my brother Dorian.” “Okay, Aunt Jean.” Dorian kneels down. “How are you meita?” He just called her daughter in Tevinter. Yup he’s keeping her. Saphira smiles and starts talking. You can tell Dorian is taken with her. “Come on Saphira let’s go meet The Iron Bull.” “Is he the one that looks like Herah?” “Yes he is.” You turn to Herah “You can take time some time off. I’ll come get you when you need to watch Garrett.” She nods  


Dorian is carrying Saphira while you’re carrying Garrett. Bull is, of course, in the bar. Bull sees you first. “Boss! Who is this little warrior?” “This is mine and Varric’s son Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras.” Bull plucks him out of your arms and tosses him into the air which makes Garrett giggle. “He will make a fine warrior.” Bull hands him back. Then he sees Dorian with Saphira. He looks at me, “Is this the orphan?” You nod. Bull takes one look at Dorian and Saphira and you know he wants to keep her. Bull asks, “What’s her name?” “Saphira.” Bull reaches his arms out for her and she jumps from Dorian’s arms, scaring him, straight into Bull’s arms. The first thing Saphira does is touch Bull’s horns. She giggles “Your horns are rougher than Herah’s.” Bull laughs. He is taken with her. You look between them “So are you going to keep her?” Dorian says, “I most definitely am.” You turn to Bull, “Do you want to raise her with Dorian?” “Yes Boss, I want her with Dorian.” You smile. You turn to Saphira. “Saphira you remember when I said I was going to find you a family of your own?” “Yeah?” “Well, these two are your new family.” “Two daddies?” “Yes.” She giggles and laughs happily. She hugs Bull with one arm and reaches for Dorian with the other. “I’ll leave you three now. I’ve got more people to see Garrett anyway.” They nod. You turn and spot Sera on the other side of the bar.  


You walk over to Sera “This the little muncher you wrote about?” You laugh “Yes this is Varric and my son Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras.” Sera looks at him and says, “I expected him to be all squishy, he’s not squishy.” You laugh, “No not squishy. You want to hold him?” Sera picks him up and turns him upside down. You smile at Garrett’s laugh. Sera hands him back. “He’s good.” “Thanks Sera.” You turn and spot Cole watching Maryden and Krem together.  


“Cole?” Cole turns and smiles at seeing you. He looks at Garrett, “He’s brighter than you.” You smile. “Yes, children usually are. Come meet him.” Cole asks, “What’s his name?” “Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras.” “He has my name.” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because you’re his older brother and Varric and I wanted him to have it.” “Brother?” “Varric and I have always thought of you as our son. I was hoping we could convince you to come back to Kirkwall with us after the council.” “I can help there?” “Yes, you could help many people who are still hurting there.” “I will come with you.” You smile. “Want to hold him?” Cole holds Garrett and looks at him. “He’s happy.” You smile and take Garrett back. “I’m glad to hear it. I’ll see you later Cole.” He nods.  


You walk over to where Leliana is. “So this is your and Varric’s son.” You laugh “Do you also know his name then?” “Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras.” “Yes. Would you like to hold him?” Leliana smiles and holds Garrett. “He’s cute.” You smile “He is, isn’t he.” She hands him back. “How are you feeling?” “I’ve never been happier. Of course, now I’m worried about the council, but I’m still happy. Whatever happens today with the Council I’ll still have Varric and our son.” Leliana nods. “I’m glad you are happy.” “Me too.” You smile and turn to find Vivienne. Vivienne gushes over Garrett. She is delighted with him. She’s happy that I’ve found such happiness. You leave and go to find Divine Victoria, aka Cassandra.  


You approach Cassandra and she smiles when she sees you. Then her eyes land on Garrett. “This is Varric’s son?” “And mine thank you very much.” She laughs. “He seems too calm to be Varric’s and your son.” “He’s only calm right now because he’s in a new place meeting the whole family today.” “So, he’s not usually this calm?” “No, he’s a little bundle of fun usually.” “I see.” “Wanna hold him?” She takes him and the first thing Garrett does is smile that charming smile he got from Varric, then he promptly knocks her hat off her head and laughs about it. “Now I can see Varric in him.” She hands him back. “I’m truly grateful that you’ve found such happiness. You deserve it.” “Thank you, Cassandra, or should I be calling you Divine Victoria?” “Please don’t call me that unless we’re in public.” You laugh, “Alright Cassandra I won’t.” You take Garrett and go to find one of the last two to see him.  


Thom is throwing knives at a target when you find him. You smile at seeing him. You’ve been writing to him constantly. You became amazing friends after he told the world his secret of being Thom Rainer, not Blackwall. Garrett tries to reach for a knife. “No Garrett no knives!” You pull him away from the knives. That makes Thom turn around laughing. “I can see he takes after his mother that way then. You always did love your knives.” You smile at Thom and hug him. He takes Garrett and bounces him on his knee. Thom is the only one of our friends who’s already met, Garrett. Garrett squeals “Uncee Thom!” “How’s my strong warrior?” Garrett just giggles. “How are you Thom, your last letter didn’t tell me much?” We talk and you ask, “And how many punched you in the face?” “I lost count at 12.” You laugh “Well your face can take a punch. Cullen has a harder punch than most and you took that in stride.” “Yes, he wasn’t happy when he found out I wasn’t really Blackwall.” You kiss Thom’s cheek, “You may not have been Gordon Blackwall, but you were always a good man in my eyes.” He smiles “So you’ve told me before. Speaking of Cullen…” “No he hasn’t met Garrett yet; I don’t even know if he knows I married Varric.” “Bet you’re not looking forward to that conversation.” “I am and I’m not.” “Oh did you introduce Saphira to Dorian and Bull yet?” “Yes.” “How’d that go?” “They’re keeping her. When I left them, they were figuring out how that’s going to work.” “She’ll be good for them.” “She will. So did you talk to Josephine yet?” “No.” “Come on Thom just tell her how you feel. You know she feels the same way, right?” “What?” “She likes you too, yes even after finding out you’re Thom Rainer, not Gordon Blackwall. She sees that you’re a good man, just like I always have.” Thom blushes. “Promise me that you’ll tell her before the council ends?” “I promise.” “Good.” “You’re stalling.” “A little. I suppose I should go talk to Cullen now huh?” “Yes.” “Alright, I’m going.” You hug Thom one last time and go to find Cullen.  


Seeing Cullen with a Mabari is not what you were expecting. “I always knew you were a dog person at heart.” Cullen looks up and smiles a dazzling smile at you. You smile back. His eyes notice Garrett in your arms. “Whose child is that?” “Cullen meet mine and Varric’s son Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras.” “Yours and Varric’s?” “Yes. Varric and I have been married for just over two years and Garrett just turned two.” “I see.” Then Cullen’s face looks confused “You named him after me?” “Wondered if you’d catch that. Yes we did.” “Why?” “If you’d never broken my heart, I’d never have run away and Varric wouldn’t have thought the worst. If he hadn’t have thought the worst, then we never would have moved past being best friends. We owe the beginning of our relationship to you.” “Oh.” “Also we had a question we wanted to ask you.” “What question?” “Varric and I were wondering if you’d be one of Garrett’s godfathers.” “One of them?” “Yes Dorian and Hawke are two already, we were hoping you’d be the third.” “Not Cole?” “Cole is his big brother.” “Oh.” “So?” “Yes, I’ll be his Godfather.”  


You kiss Cullen's cheek “You’re a great man Cullen. I hope you find your happiness soon like I’ve found mine. Though Bruno is a good start.” “How’d you know I named him Bruno?” “Because I know you. I’m glad you’ve found a dog to love. It’s a step in the right direction. One day you might even find a human to love.” He won’t meet your eyes. “You’ve already found one. Tell me who it is?!” He blushes and shakes his head. “Cullen Stanton Rutherford you tell me who it is this instant.” “That would be me, my dear Jean.” You turn and see Alistair. You squeal and hug him. “Ali!” He laughs and hugs you back. “So interrogating our dear Cullen then?” “Oh don’t you go turning this all on Cullen, Alistair Theirin. We’ve been writing letters to each other for years again now and you’ve yet to mention you’ve found someone that’s healed your heart.” He looks at you sheepish, “I wanted to tell you, but Cullen made me promise that we’d tell you in person.” You laugh “Of course he did. I’m truly happy for you both. You’re both great men and I’m overjoyed that you’ve found happiness with each other.” “That means a lot coming from you, thank you. Now, where is my nephew I’ve heard so much about?”  


You hold Garrett out to Alistair. “Alistair Theirin meet your nephew Garrett Dorian Cullen Cole Tethras.” “You named him after the champion of Kirkwall, a Tevinter mage, a spirit, and… you named him after Cullen?” You laugh “When you put it that way, he does have an unusual name. But yes those are who he’s named after.” “Why’d you name him after Cullen?” “Because if Cullen hadn’t broken my heart I’d never have run away. If Varric hadn’t thought me dead because I ran away, we’d never have moved past being best friends. Cullen is the reason Varric and I got together.” “Cullen broke your heart? Wait you and Cullen were together?!” You laugh “He didn’t tell you. Oh this is good.” Cullen blushes. “Are you saying he knew about us?” “Yes Ali, he knew you were my first love. He was my third love, my last before Varric.” “So if he was your third love, who was your second?” “Thom Rainer, though he was going by Blackwall at the time.” Alistair blinks “You’ve been with three of your inner circle?” “Been with as in…?” “Had sex with.” You laugh “Oh no, I’ve slept with more than three of them. Try 7.” “7?” “Well I was in a relationship with Thom and Cullen, and I’ve married Varric, but I’ve slept with more.” “Who?” “Well Bull, of course, he was the first of them actually. Then I was with Thom, then after Thom and I separated, I slept with Solas. Then Cullen and I got together. After Cullen and I split I slept with Varric then Hawke. Then I slept with Dorian.” Cullen looks at you “You slept with Dorian, but I thought he was…” “Gay? He is. We had an arrangement. He didn’t want to kiss Mother Giselle or Cassandra on the mouth or help Leliana trim her nugs nails. This was the third option to get some of his clothes back from our wicked grace games. To be honest, I made that option as a joke, but Dorian took it seriously. Plus I think he was curious; he’d never been with a woman before. They nod.  


Alistair asks, “So you’re not upset that two of your ex-loves have found love with each other?” “Upset? No. Surprised? Yes. I’m surprised as I didn’t know either of you fancied men as well as women, but I’m actually very happy for you both.” Alistair blushes. You blink “You didn’t fancy men until you found each other, did you?” They both shake their heads. “Well that must have been both very awkward and a shock for both of you.” They nod. You kiss their cheeks. “So are you going to make him the other King of Ferelden then?” Alistair’s face falls. “Okay, what’s wrong?” Cullen answers, “Ferelden isn’t as accepting of same-gender love.” “Well who the (You cover Garrett’s ears) fuck cares? You two love each other, right?” They nod. “Then it shouldn’t matter. Alistair, you’re king, your people love you. When they see how happy Cullen makes you, they’ll accept him as their second king and your husband. Don’t you dare make the other unhappy because of what you think your people will accept. You make each other happy no matter what and screw what the people think. They’ll get over it if they don’t want to accept it. But I’ll tell you right now, they will.” They look at each other, then you, and smile. Alistair says, “She always knows just the right thing to say, doesn’t she?” “She does.” You laugh “I don’t always know the right thing to say, but I always say it anyway.” They laugh. “I’m truly happy for you two. See Cullen I told you we’d both find happiness in the end.” “That you did.” You smile and leave them to talk and bring Garrett back to Varric.  


Varric smiles when he sees his wife and son. He notices she just came from where Cullen was. He asks, “How was your talk with Curly?” “Cullen’s found love and is getting married.” “Who’s the lucky girl?” You smirk as you say “Alistair Theirin.” Varric chokes. “Did you just say Curly is marrying your first love and King of Ferelden?” You nod “I’m happy for them. You should see those two together. Of course, I had to talk some sense into them about their thinking that the Ferelden people wouldn’t accept them together. They’ve listened to me.” “Everyone knows better than to ignore you Sunshine.” You smile and kiss Varric. Bran clears his throat. You round on him with a sickly sweet smile hand Garrett to Bran and ask, “Would you be a dear and bring Garrett to Herah for me?” He just stammers, but then nods and walks away. Varric is laughing at how you dealt with Bran. You kiss Varric again. “I like how you dealt with Bran.” “Well I really did need to get Garrett to Herah, the council is starting.” Varric sighs, “I’ll support you anyway no matter what happens in there.” You nod.  


The council is just as horrible as you expected. Then one of Leliana’s agents gets your attention. “If you excuse me something, I need to deal with has just come to my attention.” You leave you find Leliana next to a dead Qunari warrior in full armor. That’s not good, then Herah comes running, she’s bloody and upset. You notice Garrett isn’t with her, now you know why Herah is upset and bloody. “What happened? Who took him?” “Qunari.” Your face goes cold, “Show me where.” She leads you to the door with the Eluvian in it. “They went through there.” You turn to Leliana, “Can you let the others know?” “Do you want to tell Varric yourself?” You nod. “I’ll tell him. Do you know who has armor and weapons with them?” “Cole does, as does Dorian.” “And I know Bull snuck some in. I’ll bring those three with me.” You go to Varric and he sees the look of cold anger on your face and knows something is up. “What’s wrong Sunshine?” “Leliana found a dead Qunari in full armor, then Herah found me. They took Garrett and I’m going to get him back. I’m bringing Dorian, Cole, and Bull, they’re the only ones with weapons and armor here besides us. No, you’re not coming Varric. I need you here to distract the others and help Leliana and her people look for more clues.” Varric looks heartbroken hearing about his son, but the look of cold anger and determination in his wife’s eyes helps. He kisses you. “Bring our son back safe.” “You know I will. They’ll regret taking him.” You turn and go to find the three that have weapons and armor here.  


As soon as you get near Cole he turns and says, “Cold anger, sadness, hate, determined, lost love, need help.” You say, “Grab your gear we’re going after them.” Cole nods. You enter the bar and go behind it to where Bull is sitting and pull out his weapon and armor and hand them to him. “You’re coming with me.” “Boss?” “Someone took Garrett.” The look in Bull’s eye is scary. “We’ll bring him back. Who else is coming? Cole, you, and Dorian are the only ones with weapons and armor here besides myself and Varric. Varric is staying here to distract others and look for clues.” “You grab Dorian yet?” You shake your head, “I’m grabbing Herah to watch Saphira when I take you two.” Bull nods.  


You grab Herah and say “Watch Saphira with your life.” She nods “I won’t fail you this time.” You nod. You grab Dorian’s staff and armor with one arm and pull him by the wrist with the other. “Why do you have my gear, what happened?” “Someone took Garrett.” “Say no more.” He puts his armor on and grabs his staff from you. Cole and Bull are in the room with the Eluvian. “Let’s go.” We enter. We go through everything and you catch sight of the Viddasala holding Garrett, just as she goes through another Eluvian. You roar and fight your way through those in your way, leaving Bull, Dorian, and Cole still fighting. You hear a voice you didn’t think you’d hear again, Solas. He’s telling Viddasala to put Garrett back and to leave him be. You come just as Garrett has bit Viddasala and jumped into Solas’ arms. Viddasala turns to stone.  


“Solas.” He turns and smiles sadly at you. “I’m sorry they took Garrett.” Solas smiles down at your son, “He’s a gift.” “He is.” Solas sets Garrett down on the ground. We talk and you say, “I know you’re Fen’Harel, I’ve known long before we defeated Coryphaeus.” Solas sighs. He runs a hand down my face. “You are too forgiving my friend.” You smile softly at Solas. You answer, “I knew by the way.” “What did you know?” “That you were Fen’Harel, back when you ended things between us for good.” “I suspected as much. You always did seem to know more than you appeared to.” “I just wish that I could help you.” “I must go this path alone and I could never take you from your found happiness with Master Tethras and your son.” “I know what you plan on doing. I won’t give up on you. I’ll prove to you that you’re wrong.” Solas smiles “I cherish the chance for you to prove me wrong once more my friend.” He leans in and gently kisses your cheek. “Goodbye, my friend.” “Goodbye Solas my dread wolf.” He smiles sadly and enters the Eluvian behind him.  


You pick Garrett up and hold him to you. You exit the Eluvian back to the winter palace. Dorian, Bull, and Cole are waiting for you in the room. They see Garrett and cheer, except Cole, who looks at you feeling the pain from losing Solas again. Then they notice that you’re missing an arm. “What happened to your arm?” “Solas took it to save my life.” “Solas?” “He was in the last Eluvian. He stopped Viddasala and saved Garrett.” They nod. You notice Cole watching you. You hand Dorian and Bull Garrett. “Can you bring him to Varric, please? And let him know I’m alright. I just need a moment with Cole.” They nod and leave.  


Cole opens his arms and holds you as you cry yet again over losing Solas. You loved Solas more than just a friend, though you never told him. You love both Varric and Solas equally. It’s why you never told Solas about your love for him because you knew Solas would break your heart in the end. When Blackwall broke your heart, you went to Solas who made love to you. As soon as things ended with Cullen you went to Solas who made love to you again, but then he broke your heart, telling you that we could do this no more, for good this time. That’s why you ended up leaving for a week, not because you and Cullen broke up. Then when things happened with Varric, Solas knew, he told you to try to be happy this time. He knew you hadn’t truly tried with Blackwall and Cullen. And you actually are happy with Varric and you love him very much, but you know that you still love Solas, that’s why when Solas walks away it hurts so much.  


Finally, you stop crying and Cole wipes your tears. “Hope.” You nod. “Yes, I’ve still got hope.” You smile softly at Cole. “Thank you, sweetie.” He nods. We exit the room, and you find Varric holding Garrett close next to Dorian and Bull who are holding Saphira close. You hug Varric and Garrett to you with your only arm now. Varric looks confused at you only having one arm now. “Solas took my arm to save my life.” Varric nods, “You saw Solas?” “He saved Garrett.” Varric nods. You go before the council and disband the inquisition. We meet the others in secret, and you tell them about Solas being Fen’Harel and his plans for the future. “We will save our friend from himself if we can.” In the end, we all go our separate ways, until the time comes when we must meet again.


End file.
